How Overcommunication Can Make You an Overachiever

Why is clear communication important? Because we are creative beings who are capable of coming up with very interesting stories when we are faced with missing information.

This weekend my daughter was having a tough time at church.  

We were right up front, prime visibility to all those in attendance. A note about my fierce daughter, she is scrappy and excellent when it comes to flailing.

I had a backpack on, so of course I’m contending with water bottles flying out of the side holders as well, while I attempt to get my daughter outside to help her work through her big feelings.  

A couple minutes later, a friend and fellow parent came outside to check in on us.

She shared with me, “All I’m hearing is, I’m glad I’m not alone.”

Although I know my community to be supportive and understanding (particularly when it comes to kids being kids), it’s easy for our brains, especially in a state of stress, to assume the worst.

My friend filled in the blanks of “what people are saying/thinking,” with the truth of the situation, “I’m glad I’m not alone.” vs. my stressed-brain’s assumption of, “What a terrible parent.”

Life is full of the unknown, what blanks can you fill in for your folks?

Think about the moments when your people might be particularly stressed out. Is there extra information that you can provide, instead of leaving it up to them to assume the worst-case scenario?

For example, maybe you’re about to give them feedback. Instead of diving right into the feedback (allowing them to make their own assumptions as to why you’re having this conversation, “I’m about to get fired/put on probation/demoted.”)

Tell them.

“I want to see you succeed on this team. Can I give you some feedback?”

Now they can actually hear you and the feedback that you probably put time and thought into.

 Or, maybe you want to schedule a check in. Instead of sending a meeting invite with zero context which creates the blank of, “Oh no! What did I do?” which then will likely be filled in with, “It must be bad.”, let them know what you want to discuss.

In both situations, you’ll be met with someone who is more relaxed, open and ready to listen and learn vs. someone who isn’t really present and is only waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Yes, it does take more time and effort and at times it may feel like unnecessary overcommunication.

They know I just want to check in with them on the project we’re working on, why would I be about to fire them?!

By taking the time to overcommunicate, what you are creating though, is clarity within your communication and avoiding unnecessary stress for your people, allowing them to be their most productive and creative selves.

Ask yourself,

·      What am I assuming that they know?

·      Do they actually know that?

·      Is this an opportunity here to make it clear?

 What you get in return though, is someone who is engaged in the conversation, making the time spent with one another more productive overall.

Where can you fill in the blanks today?

*Photo is of my much happier, and still scrappy as all get out, kiddo.*