Inspire Improv & Coaching Inc

Transforming cultures through communication and connection.

Inspire Improv & Coaching

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The Moment Before - 5 ways to keep your last conversation from ruining your current conversation

The moment before. It’s a concept that we use in acting, where we imagine what JUST happened to our character (before they made their entrance onstage) to inform the way they interact in the scene.

Let’s say I’m in a scene where two co-workers are discussing their next big project. Applying this technique, I imagine the possible “moment before” for this character.  Did I just get back from a lunch with my very best friend? Or did I just have a meeting with my boss, telling me that a project I worked on for months has been canceled? Depending on which choice I make as an artist, will have a huge impact on how the scene goes. Lunch with a friend? I’ll be open, bringing a feeling of excitement and collaboration to the scene. Email from my boss? The conversation will likely be riddled with defensiveness and stress.  

It is these subtleties that allow two different actors to interpret and play a role in two completely different ways.

How does this apply to you?

We use this technique in acting, because it reflects human behavior. Emotions and thoughts from your “moment before” naturally carry over to your next conversation, impacting the way you think, feel and act.

With this understanding, how can we get ourselves back to neutral so that we can bring our best selves to our next interaction?

Here are a few tips:

  1. Notice first, how are you feeling? By simply noticing that we’re feeling stressed or fearful, can help to take away some of that negative feeling’s power over you.

  2. If you don’t have time, DON’T CHECK YOUR PHONE. Simply glancing at our phone and seeing the subject line of an email can elicit an emotional response, raising stress levels, making us less able to take in new information in a productive way. If you don’t have time to process that information before your next interaction, leave it in your pocket.

  3. Take a breath. Deep breathing can help to calm our system and lower levels of cortisol (the stress hormone), bringing us back to a more neutral state.

  4. Create a mantra, a simple phrase that will bring you back to a positive place.

  5. Think of someone or something that you are thankful for. Experiencing gratitude helps you to feel more relaxed, resilient and optimistic. What a gift to bring to your next conversation!

Each conversation carries some kind of importance, because all people deserve to be treated with respect, not as the recipient of residual emotions from the situation that you just came from. This is especially important for conversations when you are giving or receiving feedback, delivering tough news or conversing with a customer or client. Bringing your best self, in these instances, may have a direct impact on your job, organization, family or community.

Try it out!

Start small, when you’re at the grocery store, notice if you got frustrated because they moved your favorite creamer. Try one of the tactics above and see if you can get yourself back to neutral before you get to the checkout and see how your interaction with the cashier goes. The way you connect with them could change their day.

Support Your Competition, Enhance Your Culture


I recently competed in my first tug of war competition. I was in the Adirondacks, for a bachelorette weekend, which also happened to be the Tupper Lake Woodsmen’s Days. We were outsiders and showed up completely unprepared (most of us were wearing sandals), but with all the gusto in the world, we registered to compete in the tug of war competition.

Immediately upon signing up, a woman from a competing team came up to us, giving us all the tips we could handle, strategy, what order to line up in and how our own extra team members could support us best. We’d be competing against the reigning champion for the past 10 years, Team Rope Burn, and she wanted to help us have the best chance possible to succeed. It was time, we were pumped up and also fully ready to fall face first in the dirt.

What happened next was incredible, not only did we have our “screamers” (those teammates whose job is to coach from the side), but this much more experienced team rallied around us as well. The energy of our own team putting in our all, plus the unexpected full support of our competition, cheering, coaching and well, screaming, was incredible. We didn’t win, but we did get third place and made some new friends!

So what does this have to do with culture? I’ve observed in many organizations, cultures where teams and departments not only work in silos, but see each other as competition and sometimes as go as far as describing them as the enemy, again, this is within the same company!

Is there a team or department within your organization that you see as competition? Or simply a department that does nothing for you? What if you took the same approach as this competitive team took with us? What can you do to cheer them on? Is there information that you have, that they could really use, but perhaps it’s being withheld because of a spoken or unspoken rivalry? What skills or insight does your team have that they could use? What would happen if you took the first steps to bridge that gap and really began to support one another?

Another twist, is to think about the newbie. The one who doesn’t have a clue as to what they’re supposed to be doing and doesn’t seem to deserve to be there. How did they even GET this job? Instead of watching them flounder or butting heads with them because they have a different approach, apply the same principles. Give them all the support wisdom you’ve got, right from the beginning. Don’t waste a minute, you have something truly valuable to give.

If you have trouble getting past the rivalry or perception that you’ve become so accustomed to, ask yourself, “What is the overarching goal that we’re both trying to work toward and how can we help each other out?” This takes the focus off of the friction between you and that person or team and puts it on something greater, that you can both get excited about.

In improv, we call this concept simply, “Make each other look good.” Imagine what you could accomplish if everyone in your organization followed this approach?

Let’s get a little dirty and make each other look good.